Sexy Gothic Victorian Halloween Costumes

My older son asked recently what was meant by pre-Raphaelite? It's a scintillating (and rather sexy) term for women as idealized in the mid-Victorian period. A small community of artists and poets (like Rosetti) figured women with loose Titian tresses (mostly red), virginal gowns, prim, remote and oozing sensuality. Sexuality in Victorian times was taboo, subliminal, repressed and therefore hugely exaggerated.  

Pre-Raphaelite artist Sir John Everett Millais painted mad Ophelia, drowned for unrequited love of Hamlet. Tenneyson's Lady of Shallot (another jilted suicidal lover), painted by Waterhouse is pure pre-Raphaelite. 

How erotic would it be it recreate a pre-Raphaelite zombie girl costume for Halloween? The artists conventionally showed the dead girls romantically laid out and incorruptible. But we know that corpses don't stay fresh. Zombies of vengeful or jealous dead lovers have walked the pages of horror fiction for centuries. The restless undead have plagued generations of Devil's night, Samhain and Walpurgis revelers. Looking to recreate some of those vintage creeps of yore? Here's a DIY guide to make Gothic Revival Victorian costumes for women. Gothic Victorian Pre-Raphaelite Ghost Halloween Costume Guide

Meditations for OCD, Relationship Therapy

I'm a recovering obsessive-compulsive. My OCD can devastate my relationships if I let it (and it's pretty hard not to). It cramps intimacy and turns me into an irritable, irritating drone. Every case of OCD manifests itself a little differently--for me, time (or feeling the lack thereof) is a big OCD trigger. I'm consumed with urgency. I feel overwhelmed by responsibilities (many self-imposed). I'm driven by anxious thoughts that I'm behind and can't get caught up. If you struggle with OCD like this, here are some meditations I've developed. I repeat these when I feel an OCD mind-storm brewing. Meditations for Time-Driven Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Thinking

Four Must-Have Relationship Rules of Engagement

Starting a relationship with significant other can bring much happiness. As with marriage, there's a honeymoon phase where you float above problems and always get along. But the honeymoon doesn't last forever. And if some ground rules are put in place early on, the relationship will crumble quickly. As the relationship progresses and depending on what level it gets to, more definition may be added. Here are some basic must-have ground rules to start with. Four Must-Have Relationship Rules of Engagement

The Importance of Boundaries and Road Signs in Relationships

Navigating relationships with significant others or spouses is a lot like driving on back roads. There are few stoplights, street markers or warnings posted. You only know you're in a blind alley, pitfalls or wrong turn when it's too late. In relationships, the only warning signs are those partners erect themselves and, as with traffic signals,they're usually not erected until an accident has occurred.  The Importance of Boundaries and Road Signs in Relationships

How Addiction and Codependency Distort Relationships

Anyone who has lived with addiction of any kind knows that addictive behavior affects everyone around them in unhealthy ways. In some relationships, addiction creates a counter-condition called "codependency." A codependent makes unhealthy behavior changes to accommodate the addict. Codependency and addiction are equal and opposite in unhealthiness. They reflect imbalance and distortion in these areas. How Addiction and Codependency Distort Relationships

Relationship Reflections from 25 Years of (Pretty Much) Wedded Bliss

My husband and I are celebrating 25 years of (mostly) wedded bliss today. On July 18, 1987, I was going on 24 and he was going on 25. We were ignorant, idealistic and ridiculously romantic. A quarter of a century, we still are and I think that might be what's kept us together.

We've each only been married once, to each other, which makes us (some have told me) a rare breed. (I might say "more like a piece of work!"). We've been asked (I blush every time) for the secret of our success. I always quip "we fight all the time!" That's only partly jest. With four kids, money struggles, crazy schedules, work-a-holic tendencies, job woes, health setbacks, two lost babies, a old crumbling house, old cars (which we share) and a DIY-of-necessity lifestyle, I guess it's to be expected. And relationships get gritty in and of themselves without any help from outside stresses.Relationship Reflections from 25 Years of (Pretty Much) Wedded Bliss

Parenting (and surviving) teen relationship drama

As a mom, I'm generally confident handling childhood hurdles--potty-training, picky eaters, night frights--bring 'em on. There's one issue that shakes my equanimity--teen relationship drama. Whether they're boyfriend-girlfriend connections or same-gender friendships, teenage relationships are often fraught with drama and drenched in anxiety. Frankly, I rather beard a lion in its den than deal with drama. Even the term sets my teeth on edge. Disagreeable as they are, relationship problems are part of life. After four kids (and a lot of trial and error), I've assembled some thoughts for parents on helping kids navigate peer relationships.  How to parent teens through relationship drama without going crazy - Yahoo! Shine

How Addiction and Codependency Distort Relationships

Anyone who has lived with addiction of any kind knows that addictive behavior affects everyone around them in unhealthy ways. In some relationships, addiction creates a counter-condition called "codependency." A codependent makes unhealthy behavior changes to accommodate the addict. Codependency and addiction are equal and opposite in unhealthiness. They reflect imbalance and distortion in these areas.   How Addiction and Codependency Distort Relationships

How to argue, fight (safe and healthy) with your partner, spouse

There's a misnomer in parenting intelligentsia that mom and dad should never argue around the kids. This myth is not only unrealistic and unfair, it's unhealthy. Disagreements are normal. Kids need to see their parents squabble to learn communication and interaction skills. Obviously, there are cleaner ways to fight, but even messy battles provide learning opportunities. Here are some healthy "fight club" rules for parents.  Healthy 'fight club' rules for parents 

Teaching kids healthy communication, interpersonal skills by modeling

 Have you ever observed a parent shouting at a child to settle down? It would be funny if it wasn't so sad. The only thing this child is learning is that mommy yells, so yelling must be the right way to communicate. Hypocritical behavior like this not only jeopardizes the parent's relationship with the child, but the child's ability to form healthy relationships. These habits doom other relationships, too. This is just one troublesome parenting communication fail. Here are some others, along with healthier ways to help kids learn to get along.Teaching kids healthy communication, interpersonal skills by modeling