Lose Weight, Gain Self-Esteem--Healthy Dieting Improves Confidence

When I walked into yoga class recently, my yogini said "You should lead class tonight. You look so perky and confident!" I realized that I'm a lot happier and more energetic. Why? Because I lost 98 pounds. The left picture is where I began. The right, taken May 2014 is where I am--down 9 sizes from 20 to 3, BMI down 14 points. Losing weight can restore lost self-esteem and help you find confidence if you never had it. And that is healthy for you and your relationships. Lose Weight, Gain Self-Esteem--Healthy Dieting Improves Confidence



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Tips for Dealing with Adult Cyberbullies, Bullying Behavior

Recently, I experienced cyberbullying via Facebook. It was traumatizing. I was embarrassed that at 48, I let a person get to me like that. But some good came out it. I learned valuable, first-hand lessons about dealing with bullies.

Understand bully behavior. Some bullies torment for for fun. They're overtly hateful and cruel. Mental illness may be involved. This kind is rare. Your garden variety bully is more covert. He's a coward, a crowd-follower. He may capable of niceness, but if his pack is bullying, he'll join in. Alone, he'd won't dare, unless he can do it secretly. He may bully when anxious or stressed. He's basically weak-minded, unprincipled, and lacking in coping skills and self-discipline. His response to trouble is self-pity, projection and punishing others. Be especially careful about falling for name-calling behavior. My bully called me a fat slob which she knew would hurt me as I'm trying (and succeeding at losing weight). She's also overweight herself, but hiding online no one knows it unless they know her in person. Don't let those digs get to you. Low blows are all part of bully modus operandi. Tips for Dealing with Cyberbullies, Bullying Behavior

Dos and Don'ts for Managing Parenting Anxiety

Mom of 14 Nadya Suleman (dubbed "Octomom" for her octuplets ) is an exaggerated example of parenting fail. ABC Good Morning America cataloged some of the single mom's most egregiously bad decisions, including a Xanax addiction. Granted, parenting is stressful. But there are healthier ways to manage anxiety. From past experience with antidepressants, I say they cause more problems than they cure. Here are dos and don'ts for treating parenting anxiety and depression.   Managing Parent Anxiety 

Sibling rivalry: Parenting tips to help kids get along

I'm always saddened when I hear parents say that their kids don't like each other. I'm not bragging (well, not much), but our four kids all get along great and always have. I don't say that to be self-righteous. I don't know exactly why our family has so little sibling rivalry. We are a  very close family but it could also be just luck. If it had anything to do with our parenting, here's what we did. Sibling rivalry: Parenting tips to help kids get along 

Meditations for OCD, Relationship Therapy

I'm a recovering obsessive-compulsive. My OCD can devastate my relationships if I let it (and it's pretty hard not to). It cramps intimacy and turns me into an irritable, irritating drone. Every case of OCD manifests itself a little differently--for me, time (or feeling the lack thereof) is a big OCD trigger. I'm consumed with urgency. I feel overwhelmed by responsibilities (many self-imposed). I'm driven by anxious thoughts that I'm behind and can't get caught up. If you struggle with OCD like this, here are some meditations I've developed. I repeat these when I feel an OCD mind-storm brewing. Meditations for Time-Driven Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Thinking

How to argue, fight (safe and healthy) with your partner, spouse

There's a misnomer in parenting intelligentsia that mom and dad should never argue around the kids. This myth is not only unrealistic and unfair, it's unhealthy. Disagreements are normal. Kids need to see their parents squabble to learn communication and interaction skills. Obviously, there are cleaner ways to fight, but even messy battles provide learning opportunities. Here are some healthy "fight club" rules for parents.  Healthy 'fight club' rules for parents 

How My OCD Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Affects My Relationships

 The term OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) is often used to describe perfectionist behavior. While people with OCD may just seem overly organized, Medscape says OCD behavior stems from pervasive psychological pain, anxiety and "distressing intrusive obsessive thoughts."

Intrusive and distressing, these thoughts certainly are. I wasn't diagnosed with OCD until adulthood, but I recognize now that I've had OCD since early childhood. Here's a picture of what OCD feels to me and how it affects my relationship with my husband, kids and loved ones. Hopefully, this insight will help you if you're living with a person with OCD or if you experience it yourself. I've included ideas on what's helped me, too. How I Experience and Cope with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder 

Relationship Glue Recipe: How to Keep a Marriage or Any Relationship Solid

In a few months, I'll celebrate 25 years of marriage to my first and only husband. When people ask about our recipe for relationship glue, I point out that we've made every mistake in the book and probably invented some. The failures, especially those we knowingly committed (and learned from), have taught us much more than any successes, particularly accidental ones. These are our classic "been there, done that" communication mistakes, along with bits of wisdom we've gained from those mistakes. Read more at Relationship Glue Recipe: How to Keep a Marriage (or any Relationship) Solid

FDA Approves Sex Friendly Viibryd Antidepressant

The FDA approved the anti-depressant Viibryd for treatment of MDD (Major Depressive Disorder). Viibryd is Clinical Data's trade name for vilazodone hydrochloride. Viibryd has been called a "sex friendly antidepressant" as it does not reduce sex drive. Diminished sex drive is a common side effect with many anti-depressants, SSRI (Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors) and anti-anxiety prescription drugs. Read more...