Relationship Glue Recipe Turn Negativity and Arguing Around

My husband and I have been married 27 years. People ask how we stay together and I say "harnesses and leashes." I kid. :) What holds us together is practicing little behaviors I call "relationship glue recipes." Today's is: turn it around--negativity, fighting, criticizing. Here's how.



I've got a bad habit of nagging. He's a third shifter and I worry if he doesn't get enough sleep. Sometimes he stays up too late doing things I think are piddly. Some are, most aren't. Point is, it's not my business.

Read on to find out what I'm doing to break this habit.Relationship Glue Recipe Turn it Around

How to Recover From Codependency With Al-Anon Slogans

I am a recovering codependent. I'm also an empath--I feel everyone's pain and take on their problems. That I can't recover from. It's how I'm made. But I can find healthier ways to cope. Here are recovery tips for codependents and empaths using Al-Anon slogans.  How to Recover From Codependency Using Al-Anon Slogans

How Partners Can Understand Codependent Empath Behavior With Al-Anon Psychology

Is your partner driving you nuts smothering you? Do you feel more like her child than her spouse/lover? You may be in a relationship with someone who's a codependent or empath or both (my poor husband relates). Since I was very young, I've always taken other peoples' pain on myself. Alanon taught me that I'm codependent to everyone's pain (I let it control me). Plus, I'm an empath and feel everyone else's feelings as intensely (moreso sometimes) than my own. How's that for a human molotov cocktail? I internalize, care-take and hover. Do you want to understand codependency and empath behavior better? Here's how it feels for me. I'll describe it using Al-Anon Understanding Codependency, Empath Behavior With Al-Anon Psychology

psychology. 

Why Won't He Propose? Relationship Tips for Brides-Hopeful

Ladies, is your man reluctant about getting married. If Mr. Right is being Mr. Pokey-Pants about popping the question, there might be more to it than just nerves. It took that there guy in the photo three years to propose. The hold-off was mutual and I'm glad we did. But it can be discouraging for brides-hopeful, waiting on grooms-reluctant. All those questions and hints from people (who should be minding their own beeswax.) So here are reasons he might be hesitant. I've listed tips on how to decide whether the relationship is even worth putting a ring on it. Note, I say "he" but it can be men pushing for and women shying from marriage, too.  Why Won't He Propose Marriage? Relationship Tips for Brides-Hopeful

Panic Attack Survival Tools: Emergency Toolkit for Anxiety

Do you struggle with chronic anxiety? Do you default to panic over healthy responses? Taming anxiety takes time and work (I've been at it all my life). No matter how much progress you make, it never quite goes away. Here's an emergency kit of A-Z panic attack survival tips.  Panic Attack Survival Tools: Emergency Kit for Anxiety

Lose Weight, Gain Self-Esteem--Healthy Dieting Improves Confidence

When I walked into yoga class recently, my yogini said "You should lead class tonight. You look so perky and confident!" I realized that I'm a lot happier and more energetic. Why? Because I lost 98 pounds. The left picture is where I began. The right, taken May 2014 is where I am--down 9 sizes from 20 to 3, BMI down 14 points. Losing weight can restore lost self-esteem and help you find confidence if you never had it. And that is healthy for you and your relationships. Lose Weight, Gain Self-Esteem--Healthy Dieting Improves Confidence



Read on.

Relationship Glue Recipe, Take it One Breath at at Time

I'm dyslexic, Type A personality, overachiever (under-accomplisher) and just a mite obsessive-compulsive. Oh, and manic-depressive, probably not surprisingly. On difficult days, I can be a nightmare to live with--riding herd on everyone, but mostly myself. This does n't help my relationships AT ALL. So I'm learing to lighten up.  Relationship Glue Recipe, Take it One Breath at at Time

Relationship Glue Recipe, Carpe Diem, Forget the Work

I'm continually realizing how blest our family is. The holidays always bring that home to me. We had a lovely Easter Triduum (Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Vigil). Two of our children went mass with us. Our son in Detroit celebrated Passover with his girlfriend then went to a Spanish mass at Holy Redeemer (a Latino parish) in Southwest. Our daughter and son-in-law "celebrated" with us via Facetime. I think part of it is that we have a new motto, my husband and I--carpe diem. Seize every opportunity to be together. The work we will always have with us. But relationships are precious and must be tended carefully.   Relationship Glue Recipe, Carpe Diem

Skills and Tools Parents Need for Raising Teenagers

Like the army, parenting teens is the toughest job you'll ever love. Teenagers are naturally manic-depressive. On one side are raging hormones, mercurial emotions, sassy mouths and self-centered behavior. On the other, charm, wit and intense passion. Here's what parents need to survive the tempestuous teens.  Skills and Tools Parents Need for Raising Teenagers

'When I Am Old, I Shall Wear Purple" Good Warning Poem Not to Take People for Granted

April is National Poetry Month. Common poem themes are love and relationships. I like the more sideways views, like that of poet Jenny Joseph. Born in 1932 in working-class Birmingham England, her most famous poem is whimsical ode entitled Warning which begins with the famous line "when I am  old, I shall wear purple." The Red Hat Society, comprised of older ladies who scorn convention uses this poem for its mantra. This poem speaks to me on a much deeper level than clothing. It says that those of us who have always followed convention, may not always do so. When we discover our identity and self-worth outside of doing what's expected, we may do so very unexpected things. Read on  National Poetry Month: 'When I Am Old, I Shall Wear Purple...'