Lose Weight, Gain Self-Esteem--Healthy Dieting Improves Confidence

When I walked into yoga class recently, my yogini said "You should lead class tonight. You look so perky and confident!" I realized that I'm a lot happier and more energetic. Why? Because I lost 98 pounds. The left picture is where I began. The right, taken May 2014 is where I am--down 9 sizes from 20 to 3, BMI down 14 points. Losing weight can restore lost self-esteem and help you find confidence if you never had it. And that is healthy for you and your relationships. Lose Weight, Gain Self-Esteem--Healthy Dieting Improves Confidence



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Skills and Tools Parents Need for Raising Teenagers

Like the army, parenting teens is the toughest job you'll ever love. Teenagers are naturally manic-depressive. On one side are raging hormones, mercurial emotions, sassy mouths and self-centered behavior. On the other, charm, wit and intense passion. Here's what parents need to survive the tempestuous teens.  Skills and Tools Parents Need for Raising Teenagers

Should Parents Add Kids' Friends on Facebook?

The short answer to this title question is "no." The long answer is a little more complicated but remains a clear negative. Here's why. Facebook and social networks are bubbles whose ramifications on relationships have yet to be defined. What's appropriate and what's not? There are grey areas in digital interactions, particularly with kids. One hot button topic is whether adults should add kids to their Facebook account. Is there anything wrong with parents "friending" their kids' friends? There can be. Here's how. Should Parents Add Kids' Friends on Facebook?

Sensual, Erotic Works of Art for Valentine Gifts

In their salad days, many now-famous artists sold their works for barely enough to survive. Now they're worth a king's ransom. Happily for lover's of art, quality reprints are available cheap. For that quintessential Valentine's Day gift for your one of a kind lover, how about framing a piece of art that communicates your love? And for Valentine's Day, no Cezanne bowls of fruit pastoral Monet paintings. We want romantic, sensual art--something passionate, intimate and even a little erotic. So I am going to play Sister Wendy Beckett. Let's scour The Louvre, MOMA, wherever our journey takes us in search of that perfect, that definitive work of art for the perfect sensual, romantic Valentine's Day gift. (Like Klimt's "Embrace" to the left!)  Erotica Art Valentine Gifts

How Addiction Damages Relationships, Intimacy

Anyone who has lived with addiction of any kind knows that addictive behavior affects everyone around them in unhealthy ways. In some relationships, addiction creates a counter-condition called "codependency." A codependent makes unhealthy behavior changes to accommodate the addict. Codependency and addiction are equal and opposite in unhealthiness. They reflect imbalance and distortion in these areas. Read more

Parenting tips to survive teen depression

While clinical teen depression is relatively uncommon, most teens are subject to bouts of depression. Tedious as they may be for parents, blue periods in teens are normal and even healthy. Teen depression is particularly challenging to deal for parents who are struggling with their own emotional issues. Here are some coping strategies to help parents help teens. read more

Family closeness improves intimacy in relationships

 When teaching, I always assigned the traditional holiday essay: "what I'm thankful for." Invariably, students from preschool to adult responded "family." That says something about our priorities. Over everything, loved ones matter most. Intimacy involves more than just closeness with a significant other or spouse. In our relationship, my husband's and my intimacy manifests itself in our unity with our kids. Parenting our children is a big part of what's kept us together and brought us closer. We don't live through our kids, but in learning to be good caregivers to them, we've learned to love each other more. For us, family has made our dyad three-dimensional. Bluntly said, I find it very sexy that my husband is a loving dad to the kids I've borne him. I think my closeness to my kids turns him on too. It may sound weird, but if you think about it, intimacy is what got us the kids. The kids grew from our romance. They're the logical conclusion. That's why it's important, nay crucial, to celebrate the holidays as a family. Here's how we've done it. read more

How I Set WAHM Boundaries in Relationships

I've been a WAHM (work-at-home-mom) since 2005. There are advantages to working at home. I see more of my family, I'm readily available. I don't have to go out to work every day. Oddly, those advantages are closely related to the disadvantages. Work-at-home perks caused many problems before I learned to set boundaries. And it got a little chaotic. Worst of all, it hurt my most valued relationships (husband and kids). There was a time when I considered quitting and going back to a more traditional job. But we worked it out. Here's how. read more

How I Keep My Work-at-Home Job from Consuming Me

I've been a WAHM (work-at-home-mom) since 2005. There are advantages to working at home. I see more of my family, I'm readily available. I don't have to go out to work every day. Oddly, those advantages are closely related to the disadvantages. Work-at-home perks caused many problems before I learned to set boundaries. It damaged relationships and caused lots of tension in my family. Read more. How I Keep My Work-at-Home Job from Consuming Me 

Sibling rivalry: Parenting tips to help kids get along

I'm always saddened when I hear parents say that their kids don't like each other. I'm not bragging (well, not much), but our four kids all get along great and always have. I don't say that to be self-righteous. I don't know exactly why our family has so little sibling rivalry. We are a  very close family but it could also be just luck. If it had anything to do with our parenting, here's what we did. Sibling rivalry: Parenting tips to help kids get along 

Teaching kids friendship skills begins with parent example

 Making friends (and keeping them) is one of the most important skills kids learn. But it's not learned with textbooks or lesson plans. Building healthy relationships is a hands-on activity. When kids struggle to make friends, it's easy for to blames schools. But schools can only do so much to foster friendship skills. The best lessons begin and end at home. Here are ways parents can teach kids to make friends. Teaching kids friendship skills begins with parent example

How We Got Cheap Wedding Rings (Romantically) Under $200

Want to hear a romantic engagement story? When we got married, my husband and I paid for our wedding and reception. To cut costs, we looked for cheap wedding rings. For less than $200 we bought an engagement ring, woman's wedding ring and man's wedding ring. What's romantic about that? Read on...How We Got Cheap Wedding Rings (Romantically) Under $200

Meditations for OCD, Relationship Therapy

I'm a recovering obsessive-compulsive. My OCD can devastate my relationships if I let it (and it's pretty hard not to). It cramps intimacy and turns me into an irritable, irritating drone. Every case of OCD manifests itself a little differently--for me, time (or feeling the lack thereof) is a big OCD trigger. I'm consumed with urgency. I feel overwhelmed by responsibilities (many self-imposed). I'm driven by anxious thoughts that I'm behind and can't get caught up. If you struggle with OCD like this, here are some meditations I've developed. I repeat these when I feel an OCD mind-storm brewing. Meditations for Time-Driven Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Thinking

Four Must-Have Relationship Rules of Engagement

Starting a relationship with significant other can bring much happiness. As with marriage, there's a honeymoon phase where you float above problems and always get along. But the honeymoon doesn't last forever. And if some ground rules are put in place early on, the relationship will crumble quickly. As the relationship progresses and depending on what level it gets to, more definition may be added. Here are some basic must-have ground rules to start with. Four Must-Have Relationship Rules of Engagement

The Importance of Boundaries and Road Signs in Relationships

Navigating relationships with significant others or spouses is a lot like driving on back roads. There are few stoplights, street markers or warnings posted. You only know you're in a blind alley, pitfalls or wrong turn when it's too late. In relationships, the only warning signs are those partners erect themselves and, as with traffic signals,they're usually not erected until an accident has occurred.  The Importance of Boundaries and Road Signs in Relationships

How Addiction and Codependency Distort Relationships

Anyone who has lived with addiction of any kind knows that addictive behavior affects everyone around them in unhealthy ways. In some relationships, addiction creates a counter-condition called "codependency." A codependent makes unhealthy behavior changes to accommodate the addict. Codependency and addiction are equal and opposite in unhealthiness. They reflect imbalance and distortion in these areas. How Addiction and Codependency Distort Relationships

Relationship Reflections from 25 Years of (Pretty Much) Wedded Bliss

My husband and I are celebrating 25 years of (mostly) wedded bliss today. On July 18, 1987, I was going on 24 and he was going on 25. We were ignorant, idealistic and ridiculously romantic. A quarter of a century, we still are and I think that might be what's kept us together.

We've each only been married once, to each other, which makes us (some have told me) a rare breed. (I might say "more like a piece of work!"). We've been asked (I blush every time) for the secret of our success. I always quip "we fight all the time!" That's only partly jest. With four kids, money struggles, crazy schedules, work-a-holic tendencies, job woes, health setbacks, two lost babies, a old crumbling house, old cars (which we share) and a DIY-of-necessity lifestyle, I guess it's to be expected. And relationships get gritty in and of themselves without any help from outside stresses.Relationship Reflections from 25 Years of (Pretty Much) Wedded Bliss

Parenting (and surviving) teen relationship drama

As a mom, I'm generally confident handling childhood hurdles--potty-training, picky eaters, night frights--bring 'em on. There's one issue that shakes my equanimity--teen relationship drama. Whether they're boyfriend-girlfriend connections or same-gender friendships, teenage relationships are often fraught with drama and drenched in anxiety. Frankly, I rather beard a lion in its den than deal with drama. Even the term sets my teeth on edge. Disagreeable as they are, relationship problems are part of life. After four kids (and a lot of trial and error), I've assembled some thoughts for parents on helping kids navigate peer relationships.  How to parent teens through relationship drama without going crazy - Yahoo! Shine

How Addiction and Codependency Distort Relationships

Anyone who has lived with addiction of any kind knows that addictive behavior affects everyone around them in unhealthy ways. In some relationships, addiction creates a counter-condition called "codependency." A codependent makes unhealthy behavior changes to accommodate the addict. Codependency and addiction are equal and opposite in unhealthiness. They reflect imbalance and distortion in these areas.   How Addiction and Codependency Distort Relationships

How to argue, fight (safe and healthy) with your partner, spouse

There's a misnomer in parenting intelligentsia that mom and dad should never argue around the kids. This myth is not only unrealistic and unfair, it's unhealthy. Disagreements are normal. Kids need to see their parents squabble to learn communication and interaction skills. Obviously, there are cleaner ways to fight, but even messy battles provide learning opportunities. Here are some healthy "fight club" rules for parents.  Healthy 'fight club' rules for parents